Seeing the way God uses color in his creation inspires my art and gives me a clearer view of His love for me and you. I'm inspired by the sparks of emotion I feel when I see color, and I hope you feel those sparks when you view my work.
β€” Lindsay Wilkins


just being honest.

I was going to write another {What I've Learned} post today, but instead, I want to share a little bit of my heart with you guys. My ugly heart. Oh boy, here goes.

I struggle with jealousy.

It's so ugly and such a yucky part of my heart. Far too often, I compare myself to others and notice that I come up lacking. And I want what they have. I want their handmade biz success. I yearn to be the one announcing a pregnancy. I want a beautiful house with hardwood floors. I wish I was a better writer, photographer, artist, etc. etc.



Some days it doesn't affect my day or my mood. but I have noticed that lately I am starting to feel sad about what I don't have and I lose the joy for what I do have. The overflowing blessings in my life that I don't merit at all, but that God has poured on me-- on us-- because He just loves me.



The truth is, there are always going to be people who are better at me in XYZ. There will be people who have what I want, what I don't have. And I need to get over it.

Jealousy is so unattractive. Ew.

I have a gorgeous husband who is my very best friend and loves me with all his heart.

I have a job that lets me pursue my passion and get paid for doing what I love.

I live in Hawaii.


I attend an awesome church and have group of beautiful sisters and brothers that encourage and support me.

I have 12 (yes, 12 now!) nieces and nephews, 6 brothers and sisters, two loving parents and amazing in-laws.

I get to eat three meals a day, I have a roof over my head, and a soft bed to sleep in at night.


But even if I didn't have any of that, if it was all taken away tomorrow-- I have a Father who loves me and calls me His child! Even with this ugly heart, He is enraptured with me. And that will never be taken away. 

So, go away jealousy. You're not wanted here.

I wish it were that easy, but at least it's a start.


{photos from my walk around the neighborhood last night.}


lindsay

aloha style: hello, awkward.

aloha style: list making